june 16 - inside the throat

today's prompt is taken from the introduction of Macho Sluts by Pat Califia.

2 separate quotes from this introduction really jumped out into the lap of thighman82.

"our desire learns to curb itself, and we come to depend on the strength of self-repression for our safety."

"we know we are ugly before we have even seen ourselves, and the injustice of this, the falsehood, chokes me."

INSIDE THE THROAT

walking down the street
i am suddenly awash
in a cross
Between despair
and adrenaline

From within the throat
my desire wages
A coup detat
In response
to the repressive sanction
Of a swallow

As my eyes water
In defense of
a passionate codex
I awaken
To realize
I am running away
From myself

lost
in the vacuum of time
no longer responsible
for others ideas about
who or what
I am

Entranced by the
Vicious evidence
As it is rises
to the top of my throat

I want to rip my own flesh apart
as the adrenaline overtakes me

my desire is chasing me

Demanding that I feed it
Gnashing its teeth
Strangling me from
The inside out

Choking on adrenaline
I am taken by the image of myself
Leaving earth
Soaring through time into
A fleshy sun

as I burn up
upon entry
the strands
of my existence
snap undone

having been submitted
by my own body
i
submit myself
as an offering
to my own desire